Joke Number 3

This one surfaced in my e-mail inbox today, forwarded from someone who forwarded it from someone who forwarded it… well, you get the idea 😛
Thanks go to the unknown contributor.

Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came out, fireman, policeman, salesman, chippy, captain of industry etc, but Billy was being  uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

“My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men.  Sometimes if the offer is really good, he’ll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him.”

The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true.

“No” said Billy, “He plays cricket for England but I was just too embarrassed to say.”

P-Plate Gabfest

Will anything of substance come from the current gabfest on what to do about our P-plate drivers?

I’m predicting we’ll simply see a range of draconian rules instituted that will prove of little value.  Why? Because there’s no point having rules if you don’t have the “referees” to see that they are being obeyed.  In this case, I use the term “referee” to mean police.  One of the surest ways of making sure that drivers adhere to the road rules is to have a highly visible police presence actually on the roads.

We don’t need more rules for these new and inexperienced drivers – they’ve already got enough to learn and think about.  What is needed is better education (both in attitude to driving and actual driving skills).  This, combined with a more visible police presence, will do far more than trying to legislate a solution to the problem by creating even more road rules.

The current NSW Government seems to think that by cutting spending and reducing the police force’s manpower and using static speed cameras instead is good management. How wrong they are!  This is a very good example of what happens when a Government tries to do too much with it’s resources and tries to run everything on shoestring budgets.

In my opinion, the NSW Government should make spending money on infrastructure an absolute priority, and put the minority projects back in their rightful places at the bottom of the “have to be done” list.  Public funds should be giving priority to health (hospitals, etc), schools, public transport/roads and our police force.  The NSW police force has been shrinking for a number of years now, and it needs a drastic increase in numbers (i.e., we need hundreds of officers added to the force) just to get back to the level it was 5 years ago, and more still to get it to the appropriate ratio for our population level.

If ever there was a case of “Nero fiddling while Rome burns” one only has to look at what the NSW Government is doing.

Might I suggest that the two Ministers responsible for police, roads and transport issues in NSW (Mr Eric “Bus Lane” Roozendaal, and Mr John Watkins) get together and work out the priorities of their respective Ministries, and then go to their Premier, Mr Morris Iemma with a co-ordinated plan.

In fact, perhaps Mr Iemma, as the Minister for State Development, needs to demonstrate some real leadership by making some hard decisions on spending priorities and then start cracking a few of his Ministers’ heads together to make them wake up to reality.

2006/2007 Ashes Cricket Test Series

At 12.18 pm today, Australia continued their dominance of world cricket by defeating England with ten wickets in hand to complete a 5 – 0 series “whitewash” in this years Ashes cricket series.

What can be said about a team that has won their last 12 (that’s TWELVE) Tests in a row?  No doubt there will be cricket afficianados and commentators with far more knowledge about the game and it’s history than I possess that will be able to deliver fitting tributes to the Australian Test cricket team of 2006/2007.  However, as a proud Australian I would like to congratulate the team on a brilliant series.  They never let up, and even when they knew England were on the ropes, the Australians kept the pressure on.  Their demolition of the English cricket team and it’s attempt to defend and retain the Ashes trophy they so narrowly won in 2005 has been a marvel to watch and a demonstration of the awesome professionalism of the Australians.

Can I wrap it up with a piece of true Aussie vernacular?  I hope so.

To the Australian cricket team, their coaches and their management – “Strewth, you blokes are bewdies”

Bring on the One Day Internationals… C’mon Aussie, c’mon, c’mon….

2006/2007 Ashes Cricket Test Series

Tuesday, January 2, 2007, marks the start of a tremendously important game for both the Australian and English cricket teams.

The Australian team, stinging from the loss of the Ashes series in England in 2005, is after a 5 – 0 whitewash of the English team to wipe out the pain of the loss the Ashes and to show that they are still the premier cricket team that the rest of the cricketing world has to try to catch up to.  It’s also important because 4 of the senior members of the team have announced their retirements and this represents the last test they will play for their country on home soil.  Whilst many of the pundits predicted Australian cricket was being caught up to by the rest of the world at the end of 2005, the Australian team have simply “shifted gear” and raised the level of their play yet again as if to say to the rest of the world “Come on, we aren’t done yet. If you want our place, then you’ll have to fight bloody hard to take it.”

The English team, on the other hand, are looking to avoid the embarrassment of losing the Ashes 0 – 5 just 12 months after they won them.  They are looking to retain some smidgeon of the pride they gained when they won the series on home soil in 2005.

It seems to me the only hope the English team have of avoiding a whitewash lies in the weather forecast for Sydney over the next week.  Although, given the way the English team have capitulated in the previous games of the series, I reckon it would take 4 days of rain to give the English any chance of avoiding a whitewash.

C’mon Aussie, c’mon, c’mon…..